Exciting News

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Our new mobile Scissorcrafts library is nearing completion.

New library, filled with fantastic image displays here,

  • Easy to navigate!
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  • Enhanced image quality!
  • Large size image format!
  • New and Vastly improved images

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Because Covid 19 crisis has negatively impacted us and so many other families, since our dust is not quite yet settled with this re-design, please accept a full year membership (regularly $15.00) for a small token of $1.00.

Note: When the crisis is lifted, prices will return to the regular $15.00 yearly subscription rates. Everyone with a current Scissorcrafts subscription will be added to this new membership site ASAP. If you want access now or faster, send an email pkelley9 @ gmail.com



Perfect Robots to Serve Man

bartender robot thYou never know when or where the funny bone will strike, so keep your notebook close and pen handy.  This joke occurred to me while watching Rise of the Robots on Netflix. notice the effect of the 3-part speech or triangle applies to all types of story, speech, story, tale any topic - , especially a good joke.

Start out with a question to your audience:

Question: Anyone familiar with the progress of humanoid robots with real-world application?

tin man robotthThe Perfect Robot to Serve Man

M.I.T announced an Advanced Robotic Competition to compete for best humanoid robot equipt to serve mankind.

Every robotics inventor, all the great minds across the globe jumped at the chance. Every sci-fi groupie, nerd and geek followed. TV, press media flocked to the scene.  1,000 robot entries!

Winning Criteria

Robots were judged on best performance on three main criteria:

  • Agility
  • Ability
  • Awareness

Agility - pass an obstacle course

  • Across rough terrain
  • Navigate through collapsed houses
  • Walk through rubble

Ability - rescue capacity motor skills

  • Open doors
  • Turn valves
  • Climb ladders

Awareness - handle delicate tasks

  • Wash and dry a cocktail glass
  • Grill a vegeburger
  • Mix a 007 Vodka Martini, shaken, not stirred

Let the Contest Begin!

One by one, each robot tackled the tasks

  • Some fell off ladders or tripped over pebbles
  • Others crashed through doors
  • One pulled a valve out of its sprocket

Those that made it through the first obstacle course failed at motor skills. One incinerated the burger with a microwave blast from its eyeballs.

Hopes arose when robot #751 made its way expertly through all the obstacles but then drank the Martini and collapsed.

As the contest digressed into a robotic demolition derby, to everyone's surprise, the very last entry, Robot #1000 sprinted through the tasks.

  • Passed all obstacles
  • Rescued the victim
  • Delivered a perfect 007 Vodka Martini, shaken not stirred

"We have a winner!"the judges declared

  • World's First Perfect Robot to Serve Man! the media crowed
  • Cheers and champaign flowed
  • The ecstatic and champaign soaked crew rushed to hug their winning robot

...which instantly barbecued them all to serve mankind.


The 3-Part Speech works especially well for jokes!


Mind-Map for this story:

joke robots mind mapsm